Do I Believe Everything I Think?

Today...,

I must say that I am not quite right about what I thought many years back that I actually was heading into something really "against heavy odds". Today, it was proven without doubt that such was merely an apriori thinking. To be exact, I'm refering to my current undertaking or vocation in life, and how I perceived my long and winding search for deeper quest as something "impossible" to attain to, let alone to embracing it as my everlasting life's destination...

Indeed, now it's very liberating to realise and to accept that, many a time, I should be slow in trusting or simply believing everything I ever think of, esp my apriori thoughts, before the real things occur. In the context of my religious calling, years before I often doubt if I ever become what I was and is still genuinely groomed to become today...

If the object of my doubt were a 'dream' I thought it was like an "Impossible Dream"...to fight the unbeatable foe....to bear with the unbearable sorrow...to reach the unreachable stars...to run where the brave dare not go...as the attached song testified. Listen if you dare to Andy Williams' song, The Impossible Dream....




Today, I doubt no more on my deepest vocation especially after the auspicious moment of truth: our Diaconate Ordination, graced by his eminence Julius Cardinal Darmaatmadja, S.J., on the 16th February, 2010, at St. Bonaventure's Church, Pulomas, Jakarta Timur, has passed. Now, all that I need to cherish and maintain is my radical faithfulness to the One who Called and Chosen me into the Jesuit's religious Order, not forgetting that I was and still am "sinner yet called" to learn to surrender totally my whole life in His vast Vineyards. I confess though that surrendering my physical 'body' to Him seems attainable, but it is an uphill tasks to surrender radically my inner movement of thoughts, attitudes, and the likes. These could only be tamed with God's - ALLAH's - aids, no two ways about it!

My special gratitudes and "terima kasih" though must goes to Sisilia Francisca, a strong supporter of what I'm destined to journey through now and in the years to come. She generously introduced me to the following secular song but consciously interpreted into the religious sense. "Setia" which means faithful, is rightly belongs to God, that from time immemorial especially narrated both in the Christian's Old Testament and New Testament Bible, He is experienced as being faithful to His subjects, eventhough His subjects failed many times to remain faithful to Him.

As a future servant of Christ, and in imitation of His carrying of the Cross, I humbly seek the grace to remain faithful to Christ and remain faithful to the community as well. For that to happen, I ought to be a man of prayer, and a man who lives close to the LORD.

You, my like-minded Christian friends in the Lord, may continue to support me in prayers that I shall remain "SETIA" or faithful to the LORD ALLAH who called and chosen me into this present state of life...for the greater glory of GOD.

Yes, I cannot always believe everything that I think. Nevertheless, I can trust everything that God thinks and hopes of me...because I am His...


Amor, Ergo Sum, which basically means, I am loved - by God of course - therefore I am!

Cheers !!!